Thursday, December 10, 2009

Another Scripture-time funny

Last night we were reading in the Bible, Mark Chapter 15. When we read the scriptures, it is very common for us to stop and ask questions. We like to quiz the kids to make sure that they are 1. listening, and 2. understanding. To a young kid, listening to the scriptures can be confusing for them. It is like someone speaking to them in a different language. Funny thing is, I feel like that as an adult...many times. The first verse in that chapter says,

And straightway in the morning the chief priests held a consultation with the elders and scribes and the whole council, and bound Jesus, and carried him away, and delivered him to Pilate.

We paused there because Jace had the wiggles. Brynn said to him, "Jace what did we just read about?" Jace said, "They put him on a airplane." John began to tease him saying, "There were no airplanes back then." We then realized his thought process....they delivered him to Pilate NOT Pilot.

We all started laughing and dad said, "Jace, I think you just made the blog!"

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

What the heck are you talking about?

Recently, Haley and I were going with John to one of Riley's basketball games. John had to stop at the store to buy something for work. He ran in and left Haley and I waiting in the van.

While we were sitting there, we noticed that a police car had pulled a car over across the street. Haley proceeded to ask me several questions about what was going on.

Haley: "Is that a bad person over there?"
Mom: "I don't know. Maybe they were driving too fast."
Haley: "Do you think that they had mustache?"
Mom: "What?"
Haley: "Do you think they were drinking mustache?"

At this point I'm thinking, What the heck are you talking about? All of the sudden I realized what she was asking. When Haley says "drinking beer", she calls it drinking beard. She was confusing beard with mustache...and calling beer, mustache. Got that?

I had to stifle my laugh. It was DANG hard to do too. I think the whole van was shaking. Haley doesn't like it when we laugh at funny things she says, because she thinks that we are laughing at her. She is just so blasted cute and funny!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Merry Christmas!

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Wednesday, November 18, 2009


I sent this email to my brother yesterday...

Hey hey hey Fredrico. John and I have your name for Christmas. I have been thinking for a long time about what to get you. I am a little stumped. Can you give me a few ideas? Do you need something for your house, kitchen? Do you have a Sonicare toothbrush? Do you have a movie that you wished you owned? Do you need me to come put a scary gross wig in your bed?

You may be asking...what? Scary gross wig? What in the heck is she talking about?

Right after I sent the message my phone rang. It was my brother, and we had a good laugh and reminisced about the scary gross wig.

A few years ago, Jared was living at my parents house. I went over to their house, and for some reason my mom's "grocery sack full of wigs" was out of storage. This grocery sack is full of matted, old, musty, scare-ball, hair-ball wigs. Back in the day my mom would wear a few of the hair pieces when it was in style. Jared and I had a good time looking at all the hair pieces and commenting on how disgusting they were. Suddenly, we can across a particularly gross wig that was in desperate need of a hot oil treatment. We were so totally grossed out by it. To make matters worse, we looked inside the wig and found that I was labeled "real human hair". Can you say Heebie Jeebies? Immediately neither one of us wanted to touch it. We kept chasing each other around with it and throwing at each other.

So, I plotted an evil plan. When Jared left for a moment, I ran the wig up to his bedroom and put it in the covers of his bed. When he returned I almost could help myself from laughing. I left and was so excited to see how my evil plan worked.

The next morning bright and early my phone rang. It was Jared and the first words out of his mouth were, "Your dead". The best part of this story is....When Jared climbed into bed that night, he did it with the lights off. He did not notice the wig in the bed with him. He slept with the wig allllll night. Just rolling around and cuddling with it. The next morning, he could feel something underneath him. He rolled over and found the wig!! Classic!!

For a while after that when I would climb in bed, I would pull the blankets up high and look all the way to the bottom of the bed. From time to time, I still do it, knowing that my scary wig friend will someday be there to greet me.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Family Scriptures

A few weeks ago, we finished reading the Book of Mormon again as a family. We decided that we would read the New Testament this time around. It is hard for little kids to understand what we are even reading about at times. Hey, it's hard for me!

Yesterday we were discussing a few things from the New Testament, and Haley's hand shot in the air. I said, "Haley do you have a question?" Haley replied, "I know how Jesus died...On the cross-walk". Now how do you not laugh at that? She is just so stinkin' cute!!

Friday, November 13, 2009

You gotta be flippen kidding me...

Sometimes when I blog, I am a bit too say-it-like-it-is. There have been a few times that I post something, and John kindly reminds me that it may be a bit too "Heidi". There have been posts that I have gone back and "tweeked" a little so that it doesn't sound so harsh. Having said that, the names in this post will be changed to Ha ha!! :)

When I was a young girl my parents bought several apartment buildings to help pay for college, missions, etc. They owned the apartments for SEVERAL years. A couple of years ago, just before their mission, they sold the apartments. Even though they sold the apartments, they were still carrying the loan. Just recently the owner of the apartments...I will call him, "Mr. No-Pay Pee-pee Pants", OKAY JOHN...I will call him, "Mr. No-Pay", basically stopped paying on the loan.

So, my lucky parents are now the proud owners of some old apartments with some scare-ball tenants. This is not exactly the time in life when they need or want this. My dad is still going through REGULAR chemotherapy sessions. I'm sure that my parents would love to "wash their hands" of the apartments before my dad starts to feel more sick. Needless to say, the apartments are for sale and my parents are breaking their backs to get them fixed up to sell. Anyone interested? :) My parents have gone into the apartments to work at 4:00 in the morning because they are both awake and can't sleep. Okay, blah, blah, blah on to my point....

This morning I get a call from my dad. He and my mom are out of town. He tells me that one of the renters, who just so happens to have a mental problem, was taken to the hospital. Dad also tells me that the renter has a chihuahua locked in the apartment. He asks me if I can go to his house, get the apartments keys, unlock the dog, and take it to a kennel until the renter is let out of the hospital. Are you flippen kidding me? I am supposed to unlock the apartment of a mental person and get his creepy little dog and take it in the car with me to the kennel? Okay, yes, it is Friday the 13th. But, as luck would have it, John was off work for the morning and agreed to help me.

We drove to the apartment and unlocked the apartment door. The door opened part way, but then we realized that the chain was on the door. I'm thinking...Holy crap, we are going to be killed right here and now. How in the heck can the chain be on the door and no one be home? We yelled in the door and no one answered. I called my dad and he suggested that we go get something to break the chain with. Once again....ARE YOU FLIPPEN KIDDING ME? I'm like...let me get this want me to enter an apartment of a mental dude to get his dog? He may be in there. How is the door chained? Am I going to go in there and see that he has committed suicide? Am I going to go in there and get shot? I told my parents NO WAY and left. I also told them that the only way that I would go back and try again is if I had a police officer with me.

I got home and had only been there about 5 minutes when my dad called again. Oh, and did I mention that my dad is the type of person that wants daily tasks done YESTERDAY. It is a disease that I inherited too. CRAP. Anyway, my dad told me that he called the police and a locksmith and that they were going to meet me there in 20 minutes. So, off we go again.

We got to the apartment and talked to the locksmith and police. The police officer said he needed to investigate a little before we just go barging into the apartment. It was probably because, seeing me dressed like I was and having had NO shower, he thought that I was a renter there. After several questions to us and talking to my dad, the police officer gave the locksmith the green light, and the locksmith removed the chain on the apartment door. I was a little nervous. Thankfully, there was NO person inside the apartment, just a crazy yappy little dog. The dog was scared and out of control. The police officer ended up calling animal control, so we could get the dog into a dog carrier.

This is the part that I should probably leave out, but just have to say it anyway...While I was sitting there waiting through all this fiasco, the old owner, "Mr. No-Pay" came to tied up some loose ends with an old tenant. He was driving a very nice newer pickup. I'm saying to myself..."What the crap, maybe you should just sell that nice rig and poney up the money you owe". Okay there I said it. I didn't share his name. It's all good right?

The end of the story goes like this...we take the dog to the kennel. I go home after a 3 1/2 hour looney ride and smile because I don't own apartments.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

$50,000 pyramid

Do you remember the game show $50,000 pyramid? Someone gives several clues to another person, and that person tries to figure out what they are describing. Remember? Okay good. We are going to play a little $50,000 pyramid. Ready? GO!

Grocery carts with one bad wheel.....
Cable man that says he will be there between 8:00 and 5:00....
Whiny children...
Fingers, scraping down the chalkboard....
Racing to the phone to find out that they are taking a survey...
Realizing there is no toilet paper in the bathroom....
"As seen on T.V." television commercials (Snuggie, Sham Wow)....
Sneezing or coughing while driving with a weak bladder....

Things that are annoying, things that give you high blood pressure, things that make you want to run into a brick wall. Yes, yes, and yes, they all make you feel that way. But the thing that I am describing is..........watching a 7th grade girls basketball game. Holy Frijoles!!

I went to one of Riley's basketball games last night. To paint a picture....they are 7th grade, they are girls, they are still learning how to run plays. They lack certain skills...shooting, rebounding, dribbling, NOT double is anxiety at its finest. In their defense...They have a great coach, they are trying, learning, and getting better, but it is still painful to watch. Okay, so I am a competitive person and should probably (in the words of Riley) "chillax".

I know that I am Riley's Mom, and mom's say these kinds of things, but I think that Riley is DEFINITELY one of the best players on the team. She got a lot of rebounds last night. She was fun to watch trying to cover two girls because another girl on the team...well you know. Riley's team ended up winning the game...10 to 8. Good job Riley!

I took pictures a couple of weeks ago at one of her games....

Atta girl Riley. Way to get that jump ball!

Monday, November 9, 2009

Halloween Festivities

We had a family Halloween Party at the church the week before Halloween. It was a fun day with delicious soup, homemade bread, and dessert. The kids played games and showed off all the costumes.

Jace is one scary little mummy.

Haley dressed up as a sweet little ballerina. (She has a Reese's peanut butter cup in one hand and a cookie in the other. Good grief, she is just like her mom.)

Some of the grand kids in their CRAZY costumes.

All the adults were good sports and wore costumes too. I dressed up as a Wal-Mart shopper (complete with pajama bottoms, ugly hair, you know the scene). We always get a good laugh at all the creative costumes. My little sister, who just so happens to have 9 kids, was the old woman in the shoe. Too funny!

Later in the week, Haley and I went to the grade school to help in Brynn's class for her class room party, and also to see Jace in the costume parade.

Haley in Brynn's class.

Brynn's class party.

Jace during the costume parade.

On Halloween night, I didn't want Haley to get cold, so I convinced her to wear something warm. Haley is all about looking pretty, so I had to do some major talking to get her to wear this costume. I promised her that we could make sugar cookies and decorate them. She liked the idea, and wore the warm costume.

Little miss Haley frog.

Haley liked to be the first one at the door so she could ring the door bell. She was always on a mad dash to get there.
Brynn was just not in the mood to dress up (she must be getting too old). I told her that she better put something on. She just slapped that wig on her head, and was good to go. Works for me!

Hitting the neighborhood.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Just need to vent.....

Several years ago, my dad was diagnosed with cancer. He got so sick awhile back that he and my mom were released from their mission. When they left the mission, he went to have 2 stem cell transplants done. The transplants were the only thing for him to do to "buy him some time". Dad has been going through chemo therapy for YEARS. He is such a strong person. He goes and gets his chemo, and then heads out to work in the yard (or something else equally difficult). You would never know that he is sick. He doesn't complain about not feeling well, and he just doesn't skip a beat.

Just recently he went to see his doctor. Unfortunately his levels are starting to creep back up again. The doctor told him that he should start taking a new, different kind of medicine. The medicine is $9000 per bottle. Yes, you read that right $9000 for 120 pills. That is $75 PER PILL!! 3 pills a day = 40 days of medicine. We are talking BIG bucks!! If someone cannot afford the pills, they can get them for FREE!! Yes, FREE!! Fortunately AND unfortunately my dad does not fall into that category. Sheesh! It is like he is paying for all those people that are not paying for their own! Why can't someone get medicine that will help them without practically giving their first born child?

Friday, October 23, 2009

Half Asleep

This morning, Jace came into the kitchen carrying his school clothes. The only thing he was wearing was under ware. He opened one eye and said to me, "The only thing I have on is my panties." (Around here we call Haley's under ware panties.) So I said, "PANTIES! Boys don't wear panties, they wear underwear!" Jace replied (and this makes me laugh)... "Well I'm the sheriff of this town, and I wear boxers." I love that kid!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Sacrament Meeting Giggles

I always have things in my church bag-of-tricks to keep my kids quiet during Sacrament Meeting. I just never realized that what I had in there would make ME laugh uncontrollably. Yesterday during Sacrament Meeting I pulled out something that I thought would entertain Haley and keep her quiet. It is a learning/educational book. There are lots of questions with pictures and then you slide the page over to find the answer. Anyway...I was flipping though it and came to this question...(Read the one at the top.) I showed the question to Riley, and we both LOST it.

Brynn leaned over and said, "EVERYTHING". Too funny! It is hard to laugh hysterically and still keep quiet.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Majorly Freaked Out

On Conference Sunday, between sessions, Riley and Brynn made some kind of Haunted House in their bathroom. I'm not sure what they were even doing in there. I was upstairs and heard banging on the bath room door and screaming. The next thing I knew, Haley was running up the stairs screaming. I picked her up and held her for probably a good 10 minutes. Her whole body was shaking. I was ready to do some serious butt-kicking. (I guess I am a little protective of my sweet little 4 year old.) Maybe they just used the whole, "Haunted House trick" to scare the crap out of their little sister. They say that they did not mean to scare her that bad.

That night, during the middle of the night,(you know that great time when you are sound asleep) Haley woke me up and told me she was scared. Gosh, I can't imagine why?! That same routine took place every night for the next 8 days. Every night she would tell us that she was too scared to sleep in her room, and during the night would join us in our bed. We have a king size bed, so you wouldn't think that it is so bad. Unfortunately, Haley chooses to sleep right, right, right up against ME. Feel the love. It makes it rather hard to turn I don't. Last night for some strange reason, she did not join us. I think that she was just overly tired from all the other crazy nights.

Gone are the days of peaceful sleep (at least for now). This picture makes me laugh. Haley thinks that she is still drinking out of a cup. Too cute.
Haley has now become my shadow around the house. She gets nervous when I leave the room and takes off after me. It is especially bad if I go downstairs or upstairs without her. PANIC BUTTON.

Today we had to run some errands. I ran upstairs to grab something I forgot. Haley took off after me. She happened to have a tamborine in her hand. When she ran, it made a huge racket that made her run faster, which made the tamborine louder, which made her run get the picture.

I guess that someday Riley and Brynn will receive payback when their kids do the exact same thing. When they call me to tell me about it, I will just have to smile.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Random Happenings

There have been several different things that I have wanted to post about lately. This post is just a couple of random things that have happened that I don't want to forget.

Riley is going to a Junior High with 3 of her cousins, one of which she sees regularly. In fact, she has 3 classes with Stockton. A couple of weeks ago they were in Math class together. The teacher asked a question and everyone just kind of sat there. Riley said that no one was giving an answer, so she finally raised her hand and answered it. Apparently, the teacher made a comment about how Riley was a math wizard or genius...something to that effect. At that moment, Stockton started clapping. Pretty soon, the entire class was clapping for Riley. I asked her what her teacher did when the clapping broke out. She said she was too embarrassed to look at him, she was just smiling at Stockton. I think that is just so hilarious!! Junior High is a hard time. I'm glad that Riley has some great cousins to help her through it.

Here is a picture of the two of them when they were much younger.

Haley is loving preschool SO much. She comes home and tells me that she wants to be a teacher when she gets big. Today in preschool they were learning about Dental Health. A subject that we are all very familiar with around here. Haley was too cute when I went to pick her up. I just had to come home and take a picture of her.

Sunday, the Primary Presidency gave pictures to all the kids. The pictures were of Jesus and President Monson. I was passing by the fridge and noticed this...

Then Haley said pointing, "Did you see Johnson?" I looked over, wondering what she was talking about. (She was referring to President Monson, as Johnson.) At first I didn't know what she was talking about. She said it again, "Did you see Johnson?" I finally realized what she was talking about. I had to hold back my laugh and tell her how to say his last name. She is still working on it. She was so proud of her picture frame for President Monson.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Hey Mom...

The following is a conversation I had with Haley in the car.

A guy pulled up next to us and he was sporting a big bushy beard. Yes, he was a little creepy looking.

Haley: "Hey mom, do you think that guy with a beard drinks beard (beer)?"

Me: (Trying to keep from laughing) "I'm not sure."

I like that she doesn't even know how to say it. I'm a little sad that she is now talking more and more like a big girl.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

My Life

This is a poem inspired by my life...and it goes...

Piano books strewn all about,
Want to pull my last hair out.

Toothpaste globs lined in the sink,
Makes me want to have a drink.

Skiddies in kids underware,
Oh my gosh, I'm going to swear!

Floors covered were er you roam,
Can this really be my home?

It seems my work is never done,
And it's NOT always much fun.

Sometimes I'd just like to quit,
And I really throw a fit!

Even still I'd never trade,
And I know the days WILL fade.

Some days I'm feeling very stressed,
But I know that I'm so blessed.

Having gotten that off my chest,
It's my FAMILY that I love best!

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Flag Football

Jace is playing football for the first time this year. Luckily for my sake it is just flag football. I think that it is a good place for him to start. He definitely has the he just needs the focus. He hasn't learned yet how to channel all of that energy. I wish that I could have half the energy that he does! That kid never stops!

He has the ball.....

Go Jace GO!!!

Saturday, September 12, 2009


This morning Jace was in the bathroom with John. They were getting ready to go to Jace's flag football game. They were talking, and their conversation went something like this......

Jace: "Dad, I know how to get a girl to kiss you."

John: "Oh really. How?"

Jace: "Be really nice to her. Let her cut in line. Sometimes look sad."

I was just sitting there laughing. Should I be scared? After all, he is only 8! Guess I better reign him in a bit.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

I'm gonna soak up the FUN...

On Saturday, my brother in law gave us his suite/tickets to the baseball game because we wasn't going to use them. We went to the game with my sister Monica, and her husband and kids. There was a BYU football game going at the same time. We watched the rest of the BYU game in the suite and kept an eye on the baseball game until the football game was over.

Going to find Charlie the mascot for his autograph.
Haley and Kenadee were so proud of their signatures from Charlie the mascot.

John, Dave, Parker, Tanner
When the little kids got bored outside watching the game, they would come in the suite and watch cartoons on T.V. (Haley has a huge piece of ice in her cheek.)
John and Dave getting a little too cozy. Haa haaa!

Enjoying a little baseball action.

I took this picture from inside the suite. All the older kids and guys sat outside and watched.
At the end of the game, they let all the kids come down and run the bases. It was funny to watch them all go around, and around, and around.
After the kids ran the bases, they had a fireworks show.

On Labor Day we had a picnic at the church. We ate and the kids played baseball and rode the go-cart. It was fun watching them race around with big smiles on their faces. The entire day felt like the weekend. It's always such a rude awakening the next morning when you are thrown back into the week.

Chasing after the go-cart.
Getting it started.

Mom and Dad have had that go-cart since I was a little girl. So, what I am trying to say is that the go-cart is OLD. It was having a hart time running. Grandpa is trying to get it going with all the kids waiting near by.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Holy Moley Part II

A few weeks ago I posted on how I was going to have some moles removed. I went to the dermatologist and had 5 moles removed, two of them came back abnormal. So I went in to have the two abnormal ones completely cut out. While I was there, Dr M (my brother-in-law) said that there were two on my stomach that looked like they needed to be cut out as well. He re-checked my arms, legs, feet, back, and crap.....I had to show him one on my....okay, I'll just say it...boob. Peek-a-boobie! Lucky me!! John says, "Luuuuucky him".

So, after MANY shots they were ready for the slicing. The assistant for Dr. M was a guy that dated my little sister. So, the room consisted of me, my mom, Dr. M, his assistant, and two nurses. I felt like "side-show Bob". They all got to see my beautiful back and gorgeous stomach, in all their glory. But, after you have had's like whatever right? The surgery took about 2 1/2 hours. I walked out of there with fifty stitches underneath and 20-ish on top. Dr. M was very careful and very good. The next day I was very sore and could not stand up straight. It felt like the stitches were going to rip...So, I just stayed in bed all day. It sounds like fun to stay in bed all day, but it is actually painful. Painful in the fact that the kids keep moving full steam ahead with their messes, and painful physically. The stitches were on front and back, so I could only sleep on my side. Love those bed sores. John was good to keep me fed and do dishes. What a nice guy. It's hard when mom is "broke".

Jace kept coming in the room with a sad look asking me if I was going to die. What a sweet little boy to be so concerned.

Dr. M called me a couple of days ago with the results of the 4 moles that we cut out. He said that it was good that he cut the ones out of my stomach because they also came back abnormal.

The good news is...all the margins looked good on the 4 moles and he doesn't have to go back and cut more.

The bad news is...he will need to keep an eye on all the hundreds of other moles on my body...yes even the one on the boobie. Sheesh! John jokes that he will be taking me aside at all the family get togethers for a quick check. Haa haa John, you are too funny.

Glad to have that all done! I am feeling back to normal now. The stitches underneath take about a year to dissolve and the others about 2 months. But, I can now bend and twist my torso. It's all good!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

First Day of Preschool

Haley had her first day of preschool today. She has the most wonderful preschool teacher, Mrs. Anderson. Riley and Jace also had Mrs. Anderson as their preschool teacher. Brynn was the only one that didn't have her (only because we lived in Indiana at the time).

Haley had the hardest time choosing her backpack. She just couldn't decide! We lined up five different backpacks, and she paced back and forth looking at them. It was just so darn cute.

I could seriously eat this girl up! She is my little shadow and I love it.

Haley was so loving every activity at preschool today. Today was for parents and students. I had so much fun watching her during all the activities. I know that she will love it so much!!

Fishing during class.

5 little monkeys...SNAP!