Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Boobs and Bills

Boobs and Bills have been the only thing on my brain lately--along with a few other words that start with "B", such as bawling, baldness, barfing, blues, and bed-ridden.  There are some days that this breast cancer is kickin' my butt.  It can be all consuming (probably because most of the time I feel like a piece of crap).

Thursday I was FINALLY able to get through my first round of chemotherapy without having an allergic reaction.  My mom drove me to the doctor's office for chemo and John met us over there later.  When my mom and I got out of the car at the doctor's office, I asked her if we could slip back in the car and offer a prayer before going in for chemo.  I was HOPING and PRAYING that this chemo drug would work.  I asked my mom if she would offer the prayer.  She said the most sweet and sincere prayer asking Heavenly Father to please let this be the treatment that would go through without any problems.  I just know that my mom is HIGHLY favored of the Lord.  She's got to be. You cannot find a more selfless and serving person.  She is the epitome of charity and Christlike service.  And for some reason I thought that maybe He would listen a little more closely to one of His most cherished children.  Plus I was so nervous I literally felt like I was going to throw up.

When we got in the office, the nurses were ready for me.  They were trying to be very optimistic that TODAY was going to be the day that the chemo would work!  They knew that I didn't want to sit in the same chair that I had sat in the last 2 times when I had my reactions.  I was grateful that "that chair" was already taken and they had no plans to sit me there anyway.  This time they were prepared with oxygen and anything I would possibly need in the event of a reaction.  When they took my vitals they were shocked at how high my blood pressure was.  I was beyond nervous and hoping that today would work.

I was over-joyed when they told me I was 10 minutes into the chemotherapy, with NO reaction.  When the I.V. bag was finally empty, I shot my arm up in the air in VICTORY!  I don't think anyone has left the office THAT HAPPY after chemo before!  AND...I was able to walk out on my own two feet (no wheel chair this time)!

Friday I had to go back to the doctor's office for a Neulasta shot.  The shot helps in boost my white blood count.  I have come to learn that it is the devil.  I have NEVER been in so much pain in my life.  EVERY SINGLE BONE IN MY BODY is killing me.  The only way I can describe it is shin splints X 100 all-over-every-bone-in-my-body.  My legs hurt, back, fingers, hips, pelvic bone...Even my teeth hurt.
A friend posted this picture on Facebook to show how cancer feels.
Days later and I am still very, very achy and can hardly type this blog post.  I don't want to get behind on my journaling, so I am forcing myself to do this, and then I am going back to bed.  Now I just feel like I have a bad case of the stomach flu.  My head has been throbbing, and I can't imagine that I will have hair much longer.

School started today for Brynn, Jace, and Haley, so I feel like my focus needs to shift from the "B's".  Haley was a little late for her first day at a new school.  She started to cry when I was walking her in because she was feeling nervous (first day at her new school), and wanted to go back to her old school.  I started crying too because I didn't feel good.  Riley starts tomorrow and we will be back in full swing.  Crazy way to start the year, and I pray it gets easier.

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