Monday, I was feeling very sad and sorry for myself. I just couldn't seem to pull out of a terrible funk that I was in.
I spoke to a sweet lady at church that compared losing a loved one with the ocean. She told me that there are days that you will feel a little sad, like a small wave. There will be other days that the waves of sadness will come crashing in like a tsunami.
I recall feeling like that after my brother Brian died, only losing my dad, I also feel a little scared. He was the great big safety net for all of his kids, and my mom. He always knew what to do, and had great advice.
Back to Monday....This particular day, the waves were crashing in and rolling over the top of me. It just seemed like a black cloud was following me around that day. I knew that I needed to just get busy and do some things to take my mind off of it. I started looking for a box of thank you cards, and I thought that I may have some in the cedar chest in my bedroom. I opened the cedar chest and noticed a box that I had not opened for quite sometime. I knew that the box didn't contain my thank you cards, but was just curious as to what was inside. As I poured the contents of the box out on my bed, an envelope fell out with my name on it, in my dad's handwriting.
In the envelope there were three different letters written to me from my dad. They were written years and years ago (when I was a teenager), but the content still applies today. Each letter was several pages long. In them, my dad told me how much he loved me, how proud he was of me, and many wonderful things. He also bore testimony to me and gave me council.
He said, "I want to encourage you with all my heart to read the scriptures daily and develop a love of them, and pray daily for the Lord's spirit to strengthen you. The things and ideas of the world will end some day, but the eternal truths will last forever".
As I read through the letters, tears just began to flow. It was exactly what I needed, right then and there. It was as if my dad could see that I was having a hard time and wanted to make sure that I knew that I was loved by him. It was a message of comfort and reassurance, a very tender mercy shown to me from the Lord.