Saturday, February 7, 2015

My lately...

No, I did not drop off the face of the earth, but it has been a few months since I've posted.  I had a friend send me an email the other day wondering how I've been since surgery.  I think I am finally starting to feel human again, and am HAPPY to report that I am fiiiiiiinally pain free. 

It has been over a year and a half of pure torture.  I hope that 2015 will be a much better year.  I said the same thing going into 2014 and it was so incredibly hard.  Radiation burns and two surgeries...no bueno. 

I do complain from time to time about being completely out of energy.  I noticed it a lot when I was out Christmas shopping.  I could go for quite awhile, and then it was like I ran right into a wall.  Maybe that has nothing to do with cancer treatments and surgeries.  Maybe I should quit blaming it on that.  It's probably just the fact that I am a chubby old fart.  I turned 43 in November, but sometimes I feel like I am in my 70's.

I still need to go back to Utah for a follow up with my doctor.  Unfortunately, my bladder is in worse condition then when I started this whole thing back in April.  I'm hoping that another surgery is not in the near future.

Lately I've been hearing about so many people that have been diagnosed with cancer.  I've talked to a few ladies recently that have breast cancer.  They both have had their surgeries and now are staring down the barrel of chemotherapy and radiation.  I told them both, it's not easy---but it's do-able.  I have learned so much going through these health trials.  I have started making a list of advice for friends going through it.  I'm certainly not an expert, but have been through it.  I'm also completely an open book and not shy about sharing the good, bad, and the ugly.

I was in the store the other day and I noticed a lady with a hat.  I could tell that she didn't have any hair.  As I looked at her, I realized it was my friend Patti.  We did all of our radiation treatments on the same day, so I saw her everyday for a couple of months.  We finished at the same time.  My heart raced when I realized that her cancer was back.  It had gone into her lymph system and she was once again in the thick of chemo.  Her hair, eyelashes, and eyebrows were once again gone.  I couldn't contain my tears as we talked.  When we were done talking, I couldn't get out of the store quick enough.  I got out to my car and just started to cry.  It's hard not to worry about going through cancer treatments again.  I know that worrying about it doesn't change a darn thing.  I wouldn't be human if I wasn't a little jumpy about it though.

Life it good.  I'm happy.  I hope to get back in the swing of blogging and taking pictures very soon.

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